I decided to create this blog to show the world how great our God is. I live in the city of Las Vegas, born in the beautiful state of California. College student, choir girl, with an amazing boyfriend, amazing family, and best friend. God has been really good with me. But I didn't always have that idea of how great God was being with me. Most of my life I suffered of depression, not wanting to live, even thought of committing suicide. My teen years, I got worst as I got sick with an eating disorder.
I was 19 years old when I had my first boyfriend and I thought I was crazy about that guy. What I didn't know, was that I was just blinded with the illusion of having a guy noticing me and asking me to be his girlfriend. He ended up breaking my heart on a New Year's eve and I fell into a 5 month depression. In May 2010, I started working for the company Abercrombie & Fitch and was based at one of their Hollister stores. There, I met a ton of new friends who took me into a whole new world.
A world where I was a complete stranger. A world that looked filled with colors and fun but deep inside, was filled with darkness and loneliness. I remember I had just turned 21 when I went to my first house party. Coming from a somewhat strict family, I felt that the world was mine at that party. I remember arriving to that party around 11pm and the first thing that was offered to me, was alcohol. It was in a punch bowl and it smelled like cough medicine. But I didn't care because I was "living" my life like I wanted. The next day, it was Christmas Eve and I didn't get home until 9am. Tired, hung over, sick, I didn't want to be bothered. Instead of waiting that Christmas Eve for Jesus's coming, I was in a bathroom completely sick.
The months passed, and I turned into a drinking party girl. I thought I had it all! Friends, boys, parties, I was living the life. What I didn't realize that even though I had all that, I was still empty. There was a huge gap in my heart and I didn't know how to fill it up. Two months before my 22nd birthday, I was invited to a hotel party at the Palms casino. It was a Halloween/birthday party for my friend's brother. I was in charge of the tequila and drinking it with the others. That night by my second drink, I was gone. I remember sitting in a corner, just looking at everyone having fun. A few days later, my friend told me what had happened. Not realizing in all the danger that I was in. Anything could of happened to me. I could of been raped, killed, who knows. But God was there with me, taking care of me.
It wasn't until I turned 23, that something pulled me away from all of that, and decided to start changing my life. It was a Wednesday at church that I heard the announcement of a Youth Retreat. My parents always talked about retreats in California, since they were part of the youth ministry, Jovenes Para Cristo. Something in my heart told me to go to that retreat and decided to sign up after mass. The day of the retreat was finally here and I was all kinds of emotions. Woke up really early, had my coffee with my breakfast, and took off to the LaVoie hall at St. Francis de Sales Roman Catholic Church. Not knowing anyone, I just sat there and waited for the retreat to begin.
Day one was amazing! God was already working with me. It was two preachers from Los Angeles, California. Jose Alvarez and Jose Gomez also, Rokafuerte was playing at the retreat. There was a moment where we all went to the altar they had at the hall, and we were asking God for our needs, for forgiveness. I was on my knees and in my mind, I was asking God for forgiveness! Rokafuerte was playing the song "Nadie te ama como yo" I don't remember hearing them starting the song. My ears were shut, and couldn't hear anything! except for my heart asking God to forgive me. At the part of the song where it says "Nadie te ama como yo, mira la cruz esta es mi mas grande prueba" my ears opened, and at that moment, I felt like God's love hit me like a bus! As my tears kept rolling down my face, I heard someone speaking in tongues and in Spanish told me, "Haz obtenido el perdon" Things had just gotten real!
The next day was also great! the last part of the retreat was the part that also hit me hard. The servers dimmed the lights and it was the word of God that through Ezequiel 37, wrapped it's arms around me and gave me life. La mano de Yave se poso sobre mi. Yave me hizo salir por medio de su espiritu. Me deposito en medio de un valle, que estaba lleno de huesos humanos. Me hizo recorrer el valle en todos los sentidos; los huesos esparcidos por el suelo eran muy numerosos, y estaban completamante secos. Ezequiel 37:1-2. When the lights were dimmed, I wasn't sure what was happening. Little did I know that God's spirit was coming and was about to touch every single one of us. I walked towards one of the servers and they started doing prayer with me. The best way I can describe what I felt, was like if a million butterflies had hit my stomach and filled me up with so much joy that I began to laugh. It was a laughter of happiness, peace, joy, something that I didn't even know was possible! A few seconds later, tears began rolling down my face. They were also tears of joy! I was feeling a love that I had never experienced, a love that only God can give us.
After the prayer, the hall was filled with so much peace that if God decided to take us, I was ready. A few months passed and I went to Mexico on vacation. After returning, God started taking me to the prayer group, "Agua Viva" on my first day, I was invited to join mass choir and sing Psalms to the Lord. Little did I know, that God had more plans for me. In February of 2014, I was invited to be part of the prayer group choir, "Manantial de Agua Viva" God gave me the privilege of singing to Him. The road hasn't been easy at all! it's been filled with many trials that sometimes make me feel like running away. But God gives me the strength to continue, walking the path that He has planned for me. He has also given me a boyfriend who also serves Him and a best friend who is an amazing human being. Now I know that the empty whole in my heart could only be filled by the grace of God. Not alcohol, not boys, not partying. Only God.
Hope you enjoyed reading my testimony and see how great our God is. He's waiting for us with opened arms! All we have to do is say YES!
No comments:
Post a Comment